Last week I talked about resilience and how it’s possible for everyone to strengthen or build their own resilience from experience.
Resilience has played a key role in my life in general, not just in work. This week I was reflecting on my journey so far, and I’m reminded of this quote by Steve Jobs, seeing what drove me to where I am, and how I have survived until now.
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition” – Steve Jobs
When I left Ghana to go study in France, I did not expect to be living long term in the country. The plan was to get my degree and leave – just go back home. Four years later, a girl is still here.
Although unplanned, it’s not so bad. I have gotten the chance to work in unfamiliar spaces, in a different culture, around different people and experienced different environments of both work and social life.
Cultural Shocks
I experienced a host of cultural shocks when I arrived in France. As a Ghanaian, culture is strongly driven into me and it’s hard to let go of native cultural beliefs even when you live in a new country. The things that shocked me the most:
- Most shops are closed by 7pm, including pharmacies and supermarkets and they’re open only from about 9-10am.
In Ghana, most shops are open from about 6-7am and close around 10pm.
- Everywhere is closed on Sundays, except the boulangerie in the morning (closed by midday).
This was harder for me in the beginning but I guess I’m used to it now. Back home, you can still get most essentials on Sundays.
- Every office is closed at lunch time and it’s usually about 2 hours. So if you need anything urgent from an institution, if you don’t get there before or by 11:30am, you’ll have to wait until after 2pm.
Most offices run throughout the day in Ghana. Those that close for lunch are few but will only break for about an hour at most, not a whole two hours!
Social Differences
There’s more but I’ll leave it at that for now. My biggest shock was and maybe still is how they behave socially.
- People say the French are rude. I say the French mind their business. Nobody will speak to you unless spoken to (unless you’re in a bar maybe).
Ghanaians don’t mind their business. I say this in the more positive light. We care too much, so to speak. If I saw someone looking lost on the street, I’d speak to them to ask if they needed directions. Over here, you’d best figure it out yourself because help is never on the way.
It scared me a little in the beginning how people seemed to “just not care” when I arrived here. But I quickly learnt to do same, otherwise people would mistake my curiosity or willingness to help for threats. And no, I’m not kidding. People will really take it the wrong way sometimes if you try to help.
- Another interesting social observation I made was that they are brutally honest when they speak.
In Ghana, for example, if I was offered something by someone, maybe a drink or a fruit and I didn’t really want it, I’d still accept it. I wouldn’t need to have it there and then, but I’d accept it. In Ghanaian culture, that’s courtesy.
A French person would tell you straight they don’t want it. They’d thank you though. But they would make sure you understood they didn’t want it. Plain and simple.
In general, living in France has not been easy. I told you my resilience has brought me this far.
Besides the language barrier which I’ve been able to overcome, my cultural shocks have subsided and I still learn something new everyday.
Don’t be hasty to travel or live abroad. It’s quite overrated, if you ask me. I’d be happy to up and leave to go back home any day. But there are still things I need to do. Don’t leave home because you want to. Do it because you need to and you have a goal.
I’m grateful for the opportunity to experience life and work here. And if there’s any one thing I have confirmed being here, it’s that we all bleed red. We are no different from the people living on the other side of the world. We all have the same fears, anxieties, pain, worries, but we also all have the same joys, excitement and willpower to achieve things.